Last night I had a dream that brought more subconscious feelings to the surface.
I dreamt I was looking for my spouse in my dream but I was all alone. I was looking around and it seemed like I was walking through a city with various stalls and things to look at, and I remember feeling down, that I wanted to enjoy looking at everything but I couldn’t because I felt too down and lonely. I walked down some stairs, and as I kept going down the levels, it got darker and darker. When it got to the point I couldn’t see anymore, I felt really uncomfortable and went up a level to where I could see. It was really dim but I felt comfortable enough to stay there. I ended up just laying down on the ground, the ground was soft, kind of cushion-y, and I curled up. I felt sad and lonely, and started singing a song that brought me comfort. And that’s all I remember.
I explored some dream analysis on this and this is what I’ve found:
“The dream’s city setting could symbolize the overwhelming aspects of daily life, where external stimuli—such as work, relationships, or societal pressures—can make one feel both busy and disconnected. This may point to a sense of isolation in the midst of a bustling world. The descent into darkness often represents delving into repressed or unconscious fears, suggesting that the dreamer might be confronting aspects of themselves that are typically avoided, such as hidden emotions or unresolved trauma.
Curling up and singing indicates a deep need for comfort, healing, and self-soothing. The act of singing may suggest a form of self-expression or an attempt to reconnect with a sense of innocence or purity—qualities that are often associated with emotional release or spiritual solace. The soft ground could represent emotional grounding, signifying that the dreamer is seeking peace or stability within themselves. This might indicate a period of self-reflection, where the dreamer is trying to find solace and healing in the face of inner conflict.
Additionally, the sense of loneliness expressed through the dream may reflect both an external and internal search for connection. On one hand, the dreamer might be feeling isolated in their waking life, yearning for relationships or meaningful interactions. On the other hand, the internal aspect points to a desire for deeper self-awareness or self-acceptance, highlighting an emotional void that needs to be filled through personal growth or spiritual exploration.
The symbolism of the darkness and the quest for comfort could also suggest a transition period, where the dreamer is in a state of flux, moving away from a phase of uncertainty or turmoil toward a more grounded, peaceful state of being. This process could involve facing fears or uncertainties, ultimately leading to greater emotional clarity and a more secure sense of self.”
I struggled a lot making friends over the years. I feel like these feelings of isolation stem from high school. I lost all of my close friends back then and for awhile felt really alone. High school was a painful period. I did end up having friends though and moving forward toward the end of high school though, but didn’t stay close to my high school friends. Over the years, I have longed to have a close girl friend, but every time I have attempted to make one, they are either flakey and don’t put in equal effort to be a friend, or they are people who are toxic generally and not good friends. I feel like I’ve given up on trying to have close girl friends, and I have my spouse. I feel like I am content, at least consciously, the desire to have a close girl friend isn’t really something I long for anymore.
Also, I had a falling out with my mother earlier this year which may have triggered more feelings of loneliness. Losing loved ones, family are precious connections. We repaired our relationship since then and are fine now. I have also kind of been thinking about what would happen if I lost my parents lately too. They are hitting their 70s now, and at that age you just never know how much time is left with them. The only consistent people in my life really have been my parents and my spouse. I don’t really have anyone else, and it scares me a little to think of making it by in the world alone if anything happened to my spouse or my parents. We are moving next year to be closer to other family members as well so hopefully that will change in time and I will get closer to them.
I think it’d be really good for me and open up more doors to make more connections. It’s been hard to make friends as an adult. I have no trouble making friendly acquaintances, but creating genuine connections with people has been really difficult for me. Once we move I really want to try and get involved in other outside activities too, like book clubs, and other community activities where I can meet people. Hopefully next year will be a better chapter and bring about more healing and growth.
