It’s really amazing how dreams and the subconscious mind work when it comes to reflecting our inner world, but also, communicating with us and giving direction. I have a sort of challenge I’ll be facing on Monday with a co-worker who has been very verbally abusive to me and controlling. She is not my superior in any way, she is my equal, but really likes to throw her weight around. Anyways, I’ve reached my limit of it and decided I’m going to have a talk with her face to face.
For the last couple nights I’ve really been battling with myself on how to do this, what to say. Do I wait until something comes up again and say something to her in the heat of the moment? Or do I pull her aside first thing on Monday morning and have a talk with her, so that I do not do it from an emotionally frustrated place in the heat of the moment. I am opting for the second option.
Anyways, last night I had a dream where I was facing some very aggressive dogs that looked like wolves. One was a mother wolf that I think was aggressive because it was protecting its pup, and one was a massive black wolf that honestly could have devoured me in one bite. Both I feel signified my coworker and perhaps just my own fear in general of the confrontation. I’ve had a suspicion for awhile that my coworker is the way that she is because of her upbringing. I don’t know anything of her upbringing, but reflecting on my own upbringing I know I too have some toxic traits that I think stemmed from childhood. I feel my coworker is as hard as she is, likely because there was a time that she felt that’s who she needed to be in order to protect herself, and she probably had to do it so much that this defense mechanism carried over and became a part of her personality. I feel this represents the aggressive mother wolf with her baby wolf, the mother wolf is acting in survival mode, defending and protecting part of herself. The massive black wolf I think represents me facing my fear of confronting a bully. The interesting thing about both of these wolves though, is that when I exhibited no fear and stood my ground when they’d attempt to attack, they backed down. When I ran from my fear, they chased me and I had to fight for my life.
I feel like this was my subconscious mind’s way of telling me to have courage, face my fears, do not run or keeping running from this or else the problem will just continue to chase me. Stand my ground. I just need to contemplate my delivery of this when talking to her. I want to be direct, while also coming from a place of understanding that she is the way that she is due to her own experiences. Though, making it clear I will not continue to be her punching bag. Here’s to hoping Monday goes smoothly.
